"Mama said there'd be days like this"

Today is not a good day, pain wise. I woke up with the usual head/neck pain but added to that was extreme upper back pain across my shoulders and across my collarbone. Luckily, I have my weekly neuro appt tomorrow which will hopefully alleviate some of the pain. I was REALLY hoping to be able to start going every other week but my body reminded me today that I am not there yet.


For today all I have is heat..and Advil that doesn't do anything for the pain. You would think after almost 3 months that the muscles wouldn't hurt as badly but they do (some spots hurt just to touch).  I have learned that muscles are very complex things and that many of them are in spots you wouldn't think they would be or go deeper than you would think they would.  I took Advil when my husband left for work and then just lay in bed for 3 more hours b/c it hurt too much to move.  I did some of my PT exercises but they didn't do much good, either.


Thankfully my parents came up early for Codee's appointment and my mom stayed with me and helped to get some laundry done.  I can fold it just fine but I can't get the stuff out of the washer or dryer very well because it hurts to bend and makes me off balance to try to reach into them.  I was also able to load and run the dishwasher b/c my sweet husband left a chair next to the sink/dishwasher for me to sit in. I loathe dirty dishes but it was actually nice to have some sense of normalcy (I'm sure this will wear off as I continue to improve).


Now it's back to lying on my heated rice therapy bag.


P.S. Codee had a good report from her appointment...her BG (sugar) levels seem to have gone down more on the new insulin dosage than at her last appointment. Hopefully that trend will continue so that she can be regulated again!

"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." ~JL

And plans I had, especially in the month of March! So before I can focus on the positive, I have to grieve the losses of the negative impacts that resulted from the accident. Here's the laundry list of my life that I missed out on:

• Missed out on seeing the Broadway version of The Lion King (would have been my first Broadway performance; the silver lining was that my husband and MIL bought me probably every souvenir they sold)
• Was unable to perform my Matron of Honor duties at the wedding of one of my best friends (this one probably hurts the most because I can never get that back)
• Missed out on the 50th Anniversary Conference for the organization that I am on the Board (will be on the Board again next year but won't be the 50th anniversary)
• Missed out on 2 different presentations that I was supposed to give (one at a girl's day for building self-esteem, the other for parents about bullying prevention)
• Missed out on the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert (A tradition for me; hopefully they will come back again next year)
• Missed 3+ months of work and won't get to tell the 5th graders good-bye
• Docked 3 months worth of paychecks (hopefully litigation can get that back)
• Still unable to drive (although my car looks good as new now)

I feel like there is more but I can't think of it right now. Just typing this much has made my head pound more. The only thing on that list that is really a lifelong loss is the Matron of Honor duties in my friend's wedding. I don't know how I will ever get over that one.

I'll focus on the silver lining (positives) in a different post. For now, it's back to the ice pack on my head/neck.

"I wonder, How it's going to be"

Three months ago, my Life Plan went out the window when I was injured in a car accident. This blog is going to be a way for me to get down all of the thoughts and reflections that I have had post accident.
They probably won't be long posts since it still hurts my head to focus and they won't be daily b/c it will depend on how I am feeling. I am hoping that this will help me to get back to being myself...or the post-accident version of myself since I have had my eyes opened to quite a bit in the past few months.

The title of this blog is something that my great-uncle told me years ago when he was battling cancer and I made cards for him. He told me that I was the Moonbeam after the Storm (and now my middle name is Moonbeam). Fortunately, my storm (car accident) was not as serious as cancer...but it was a life changing experience for sure. I'm hoping that blogging will help me to tap in to the positive things that came out of it.


"Life's a journey, not a destination."